13. We are more than just the 'Hat Game'!

I’ve become aware that our team has become known for our hat game. I know… we post a lot of pictures with people in funny hats, so it’s not surprising. But it’s begun to worry me. 

You see, we are so much more than just ‘the hat game’! 

We use the hats to kick-start our focus groups and our online meetings as they create a lovely vibe. People might have been anxious about joining the session but walking into a room where you see fun hats and wigs on the table… well, people become curious. Their eyes light up. They smile. What are these things? They forget the nerves they might have had and it certainly helps to level out the sense of ‘power’ in the room when people are falling about laughing and you can barely recognise each other as they suddenly look like an old person, a wizard or Elton John. They change what people look like. They are a bit of a magic tonic. 

But what happens after that is even more magic. People feel more relaxed about owning and sharing their thoughts on death and loss. They tell stories together about difficult situations and hard experiences they have had- from Support Workers dying, to saying they don’t feel listened to, to sharing fears of parents dying. Sometimes there are tears but actually, we don’t mind that at all. It all comes as part of the natural thing that can happen when we think about people we love dying. It’s hard and we don’t run away from that. We embrace that. We sit together, give each other space. We listen. We let people explore. We give people confidence in talking about death and loss because of the relationship we build with them in a short period of time. The hats turn a boring, cold office space into a space of colour and warmth where people feel valued and listened. 

But, of course, even behind these focus groups and sessions is all the background work that anyone else does - sometimes I might say, even the boring detail that none of us really want to do 😉, but it has to be done as it’s part of our jobs and things don’t happen unless we do them. 

So here’s a few snapshot photos that give you a sense of what a random office day can look like for us – so you can see that we are more than just the hat game. This was a recent Thursday work day for us: 

We started with our usual drink together and having a bit of ‘arrival into work space time’. It’s an important time where we catch up and maybe talk through any important things so we move into ‘work mode’. It usually involves laughter (and myself being critiqued on my tea making 😊). It might involve talking through something great that we have experienced or something difficult. If we’re honest, it often involves a moan about the 85 bus being so very hopeless!   

Then we use post-it notes of all the things we need to do during the day and we shuffle them around to find out the order of what we need to do things. Listing lunch is, of course, one of the most important post-its notes for me! 

We needed to look at calendars (the colourful sheet) for what we are doing over the next few weeks as we are travelling around the country to different places like Huddersfield, Milton Keynes and Croydon. We need to know who is doing which workshop and when. 

We talked about how to get there as there’s a separate department that books all our tickets, so its quite complicated getting this right for so many people in a group with different railcards etc. 

We did the ‘dreaded’ emails where we had to wade through lots of university emails that aren’t so important for us to read and reply to. 

We looked at, chose and ordered art materials for our workshops and planned different parts of the workshops. 

We did some filming for Sunny’s blogging rap song that’s just come out. Check it out here. Fred, you were officially caught on camera pouring water over a colleague!  

By the end of the day, we’re usually amazed at what we’ve got through and we’re usually feeling quite tired, as you can see! 😉 (Note to self, must check Richard is still breathing! His acting is worryingly good!) 

So there’s your peek behind the scenes. All these office chores are the foundation blocks that build up to and allow us to do all the creative stuff that shifts the energy of a room- the energy in and between people. That puts a smile on people’s faces. That helps people feel at ease to connect with each other. That helps people talk. And, of course, helps the magic happen afterwards. 

We are so much more than just the hat game, but we do really love the power of those hats! 

Written by Jo Giles, Research Assistant at Kingston University London