53. Everyone can learn to be a better listener: Reflections from a KIND Training Day

On 12th March, I was in the office at Kingston for a listening skills training day for our team. The session aimed to help all of us build our listening skills to support others and one another. 

I felt this training was important because in the KIND Research Group, we work on difficult and sensitive topics such as death and dying. Projects like the DAPPLE Project, the READY Study, and our new Assisted Dying Pilot Study all involve challenging topics that can stir up feelings in everyone.

Sometimes, participants and contributors get upset. Sometimes, we as researchers do too. We are all human, and it’s important that we know how to support others.

Listening might sound simple, but it is one of the most important skills we can build in research. When people share their experiences, especially when those experiences are painful, what matters most is not having the right answer. It’s about making sure people feel supported. 

I drew on my experience as a Samaritans listener to plant the seeds behind the session, working together with colleagues Fred and Jo who are experts at making things accessible, practical, and fun. We wanted the session to feel engaging and safe, where everyone could learn new things without pressure. 

This felt especially important because researchers with a learning disability are not always supported to take on roles that involve listening to and supporting others. There can be unspoken assumptions about who provides support, and who receives it. 

In our team we like to challenge assumptions! 

The first thing we did was to think about why it is important to listen well. We wrote our ideas down, then we shared them as a group.

Then, we all thought about a time when we felt listened to...what did the person do, and how did it make us feel?

This made us all pause and think together about what good listening looks like - and more importantly, what it feels like.

Jo, Sunny and Irene did some amazing acting at being not-so-good listeners, and we worked as a group to spot signs of good and poor listening through role play. This was a fun way to think about how we listen and what’s important. We focused on key skills like taking time, not interrupting, asking open questions, and using silence. 

Once we'd spent some time thinking about being a good listener, we finished the day by reflecting on ourselves. We thought about when we might need support, and what helps us when we are not okay. This helped us understand each other better as a team and how we can support one another. 

One of the most important messages from the day was that listening is not about fixing things. It’s about being there, showing we care, and allowing someone to share their experience in their own way. 

What stood out to me most was how everyone engaged with these skills. With the right space and approach, all of us were able to build confidence in listening and supporting others. 

For me, this is what inclusive teams should look like. It’s not just about being involved…it’s about everyone having the opportunity to develop skills, take on different roles, and contribute in new ways. What an amazing team of KIND Listeners.

Written by Christina Roberts, Project Manager/Research Fellow at Kingston University.